| Is This Something You Want To Die For, Better Yet Go To Hell For? |
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I'll Spare You All The Bullshit
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| I'm Highway Bound For Another Pretty Suicide |
[02 Apr 2007|05:49pm] |
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Eighteen Visions - Pretty Suicide. |
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So right now, I pretty much hate everything going on in my life.
First, lost my band. Second, lost the girl I love more than anything. Third, my car is broke down up in Canney Valley. And fourth, above anything else, my grandma might have lukimia.
Honestly, when will this shit end? I wish I had a way to drive somewhere or just a way to get out.
I need a cigerette.
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1 comment|Bring this to its knees
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| Call This Abandonment. |
[27 Mar 2007|03:09am] |
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Eighteen Visions - Coma |
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Im bracing myself for what could very well possibly be the biggest upset in my life.
If it happens, then EVERYONE can say goodbye to me for awhile, cause I honestly dont know what in the hell Im going to do if it happens.
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Bring this to its knees
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| Fuck Me |
[21 Mar 2007|11:06am] |
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From Autumn to Ashes - Short Stories With Tragic Endings |
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Some days I really just want to put a gun in my mouth and blow all my problems away.
...And today is one of those days.
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1 comment|Bring this to its knees
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| Just Fuck It... |
[14 Mar 2007|05:55am] |
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Haste The Day - If Only I Could See |
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I expect a breakdown in the next two weeks. I really can't take anymore.
I've not been home 30 minutes; it's 5:49 AM, I am really tired, but still pissed and dont think I'll be able to sleep.
For the first time in years I feel like I need a ciggarete.
My head hurts.
I really want to go to my moms'.
I wish I could have one day that I didn't have to worry about anything.
I really like Haste the Day, but the lead singer sounds like a pissed off parakeet.
I want to get into my car and drive forever.
George Jones is an amazing song writter.
I need more coffee.
I need new shoes.
I need a fuckin' job.
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Bring this to its knees
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| I'm a walking disease tailing a remedy of dreams |
[06 Mar 2007|08:40pm] |
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Inhale Exhale - A Call To The Faithful |
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Right now, I feel pretty much like shit and just wrote. It wont make any sense to anyone but me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Every Arrow Has it's Day
im caving in again
ive lost all hope of ths ever working out
my heart is collapsing
my lungs are punctured
im a walking disease
tailing a remedy of dreams
curtious and suspendable
im your let down
irregular verbing down the banner
this is not sanity
this is a reality
break of dawn im at my peak
duplications and wires
burning down this forest is a break through
destroy me, for i am not David
regaining unconciousness is a little slice of heaven
eclipse the falling sun
i couldn't care less
eat me inside out
this is what you were made for
kill me little by little
tear me down for the amusement
im carrying low expectations
in my leather briefcase
burning hallways make me think of the past
the sizzling of the flesh
the smell of there death
im suspended from the sky
watching the colaboration of water meets fire
rest in piece..
the wings you have on are a sight
stare down the little boy
kill him with your eyeless sockets
collapse..
there is no mercy for you or me
this world is not so fitting
we've lost all hope
and ive lost myself
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Bring this to its knees
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| Mirror, mirror can't you see? You've got a hold on me. |
[06 Mar 2007|06:04am] |
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He Is Legend - (((louds |
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Today I go take the Driver's Test. Wish me luck (I'll need it.)
I LOVE HE IS LEGEND.
This isn't going to be a good day.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, yeah...
I GOT MY LICENSE!!!
HELL YEAH! It's like puberty all over again!!!
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Bring this to its knees
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| Too Much Pressure |
[27 Feb 2007|12:42pm] |
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MGK - She Was a Looker' |
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Ok, so we've only finished one song cause of VERY picky people. We have to have two more done today by 5. I dont think it's going to happen. We're working on She Was a Looker' right now. The demo is going to be only 3 songs IF we get them done. We probably won't but whatever. I'm about tired of this shit anyways.
I really just want to lay down. I have a headache.
"Beautiful Puffy Peirced Nipples" - Keith Buckley
I have to quit for now. I'll post more later.
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Bring this to its knees
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[12 Feb 2007|04:09pm] |
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Red Winter Dying - The Last Breath Of My Life, The Last Gasp |
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With Open Eyes and Still Beating Hearts
we've re-written this into a work of art
five months down and my dreams are dead
i've walked this parking lot around the world
and back to my home town where the bleeding begins
we've been back and forth and left to right
ive put a lot into this and i've lost a lot out of it
carry me into this wasteland
welcome to my life hanging from a shelf
for the world to see and critisize
where did i begin and where is it going to end
spinning in circles and dancing with the devil
these pills are the escape root
from you and the world
the liquid seeping down my throat is my salvation
ive been down this road many times before
but not qute like this
im casting the signal to leave
ive carried this under my belt for 3 years
and im dropping it all at the sight of myself
in the mirror laying across my bedroom floor
im counting this one down to the wire
im set to explode at any minute
and im taking this entire world with me
into the after life; whatever it may be
i've healed many broken hearts in my life time
but i've never been able to save mine
this is the monolgue to the end of my days
these are the words of the forgotten friend
this is my dying dream
quiet and insecure i sit alone quiet as a mouse
with my back to the wall and my face on my knees
i've played these songs repeatitively for hours
these melodies are what ive became
ive lost myself to the lake and memories that everyone forgot
we've all parted for better days and so-called better people
i've lost everyone i shared a lake side night with
i've lost some of the best friendships of my life
the last year of my life has been fulfilling in different ways
this is my letter to the people i cared most about
and to the hard times we've all faced
to the bad times we're going to face in the future
i want you to know im always going to be here
but im dead to you
you know im dead to you
ive been dead to you
im never comming back
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Bring this to its knees
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| Sing Me a Melody and Make Me Forget |
[07 Feb 2007|04:52am] |
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Josh Rouse - Streetlights |
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Have you ever just looked a child wearing a smiling face and then look at a parent at the pissed off look on there face? This last weekend I did. A lot of things crossed my mind. The kid looked so happy with all the tickets he had won at the arcade and all he got was a toy frog. He looked at all of us with a big smile, but no one was looking at him, other than me. I happened to look at the parent who didn't look too happy and I wondered what that kid's life is like. He had to be around 4 or 5. Not very old at all. Then I thought about what he will be like when he is a teenager. Does this kid have a bad life right now? If he does, will it affect him in a bad way or a good way? I don't know why this all hit me. It just kinda made me think of my life and compare it with his and different things like that. I just went into this state of being real quiet. I just didn't want to say anything, it was all I had on my mind for the longest time. Then I looked up and saw another kid playing the hunting game and his mom was holding him up and he was having a blast. It took a toll on me. I don't know what it is, but when I walk into the arcade I watch all the parents and there little kids. I think about what there lives are like. I don't know why I do it. There's really no point to this, I just wanted to say it. I just can't get it off of my mind.
It makes me wonder if I will be a good parent. Will I be the ideal father for my children? Will I be a parent who there child just can't stand? I don't know why I'm thinking about these things. They just hit me.
Am I really an asshole? If I really am, tell me. I know that's why people stopped talking to me before. That's why I just got quiet around people and stopped coming around in the first place. I really don't mean to be one, if I am.
I'm so sleepy, but I'm not sleeping tonight. I'm not going to be able to sleep until I find out if you made it home safe. I love you more than anything and I miss you.
I want to learn guitar. I want to do an acoustic-indie-ish type project. Nothing heavy.
i want to write a song or some verse right now. I just can't get anything out. I don't know whats wrong. I hate writers block.
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4 comments|Bring this to its knees
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[31 Jan 2007|04:19pm] |
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Psyopus - Death, I... |
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Yesterday, we packed up and headed out to good ol' Nashville to see Job For a Cowboy, Psyopus, The Acacia Strain, See You Next Tuesday, and Daath. That had to be the crazist show Ive ever been to; Norma Jean had nothing on that. I love the band Norma Jean, but there is no way they could out do the crazy shit that went on.
I'm selling a Job For a Cowboy shirt I got. It's brand new and hasn't been worn.
 </center>
If you want it, give me an offer, cause Micheal (our drummer) is offering 10 bucks for it.
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1 comment|Bring this to its knees
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| These Are My Confessions of a Dying Son. |
[29 Jan 2007|03:53am] |
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Public Image LTD - Rise |
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Right now, the girl holding the key to my heart is asleep on my bed. If only I knew what she was dreaming. I hope it's a good dream. In a few hours she will be gone and it will be a whole a week before I see her again. I can't sleep, but I am so tired. It sucks really bad though, that she'll be gone in a little while and it'll feel so long 'til I see her again. I miss her already and I hope she makes it to school safely.
This weekend has kinda sucked, but was still alright. I fucked my knee up again. I'm laying off it for awhile. Until it gets better. It still hurts, but it should be fine in a day or two.
So, I really dont know how much longer this band is going to last. Something dosen't feel right about it right now and I dont know what it is. I hope it keeps going, I NEVER want this to end. I love it. It's my baby. I've been there from the start and I will be there 'til the end. I think Im just paranoid, cause I've never been in a band that has made it this far, never been this good, and have never been completely happy with.
I miss everybody. I still don't see everyone as much as I want. Everyone of these people need to get up with me as soon as possible to kick it: Mat Harmon, Kurtis Welch, Jack Nunley, Tonyarg, Danthrax, Travis Ayers, Charlie Ware, and everyone that else that has me on there lj friends and everyone else that reads this. Get up with me as soon as possible, I miss you all (even the ones Ive never met, I miss you too). Sorry I didn't name everyone off that I want, it's just a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG list.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Confessions Of a Dying Son
ive never read a more
beautiful love letter than yourself
forgive me if im wrong
but arent you supposed to love
me know matter what?
ive cried a million tears
over you and still
i am being criticized about how
much i really love you
im dying with this sunset
and the world dosent seem to care
please just let me live
all i want to do is live
just for one moment
ive put everything into this
and this is how i am repayed
they're rejoicing for my funeral
let me die another day
and let me cry another night
for i know ive done wrong
and i am sorry for this
all that is happened
these tears have drowned me
for the the 18 years of my life
and still i have no life support
countless times i have tried
to spring up out of this
and start a new life on the surface
these are my confessions
soaked in blood and tears
these are my confessions
dancing around my head
in a silhouette of death
these are my confessions
of a dying son
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4 comments|Bring this to its knees
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| This Is Your Last Chance To Reach Me |
[18 Jan 2007|11:32pm] |
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It Dies Today - Through Leaves, Over Bridges |
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Im so sleepy right now and I dont know why. My head hurts as well. Im writting a band bio. It wont be posted 'til sometime this weekend. We have a show in Tazewell Saturday, everyone should come out. I think it starts at 7. My bed looks so comfortable right, I cant stand it haha.
So yeah, Mega Mayhem have dropped all of there bands, but want to keep a few and we're one of the few they want to keep. They're wanting us to sign a contract, I guess you could say. It looks promising. We'll probably do it. They're helping us a lot.
Honestly, this band is everything I could have dreamed of when it comes to music. Here in Febuary we're going to begin writting some new songs with A LOT of breakdowns. We're also going to go back over the old songs and revise them. We feel they could be A LOT better. Our next show after January 24th will be Febuary 23rd. We're taking that time between the dates to write and record.
I've decided that I AM going to go on a diet and lose weight. Im going to try and get myself to a 180 lbs. I am going to start Monday. I know it seems a little long, but I just want to start at the beginning of the week. I am TOTALLY DONE with sodas for awhile, also fatty foods as well. I NEED to get into shape. I AM going to get into shape.
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Bring this to its knees
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| I Miss You.. |
[15 Jan 2007|07:33pm] |
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Machinegun Kelly - Too Metal For Middlesboro |
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I already miss you. My eyes are full of tears right now. It's not been five minutes since you pulled out of my driveway. I hope you make it back safe. They're playing She Was a Looker' right now. It's going to be hard to go to sleep at night cause I wont get to see you before I fall asleep. It's going to be very hard to go through the days not being able to see you. I've became so accustom to it that the change will be so hard to endure.
I love you with all of my heart.
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Bring this to its knees
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| Hell Bound On a Cotton Candy Stick |
[12 Jan 2007|05:47pm] |
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Machinegun Kelly - Hell Bound On A Cotton Candy Stick |
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Hell Bound On a Cotton Candy Stick
tear me down again
i am the walking cadaver
in your holy knights
you own this battlefield
destroying the kind hearted
on sight
those demonic eyes
you carry in your head
thrive on tearing us apart
kill the lights
we're going to make
a night to remember
arms holding tightly
kisses we'll never forget
a knife through your
terrorizing heart
im turning this around
im making a new
no more will
the suffering go on
for me or for anyone
sweet shadow falling
to the floor
in a hail of screams
in an end of dreams
crawl to the phone
im kicking out the door
im taking your heart
out of your chest
as my signature
as my trophy
as my revenge
you are hell in a lapdance
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Be ready for a shitty demo!
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Bring this to its knees
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| I'm Not Letting This Die Just Yet...Im Going To Keep Struggling |
[12 Jan 2007|12:51am] |
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Machinegun Kelly - Fear and Loathing In Tazvegas |
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So yeah, the last few days have completely blown turkey nuts. I hate being sick.
Ok, so Mark, Josh and I are going to record a new demo for MGK tomorrow. All vocals will be me and all drums will be me. Then all guitar stuff will probably be Mark. Then all bass will be Josh, of course. I dont know what we'll exactly record or anything. If it sounds good enough, we'll probably record a few other songs and put them on cd for everyone. Should be neat.
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Bring this to its knees
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| We're Just Wasting Time |
[09 Jan 2007|04:51pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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Aerosmith - Eat The Rich |
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Im bummed.
We were supposed to have a show, but no, not happening now.
We were going to try and have practice, but that's not happening either.
Im STILL sick.
I just want to get something to eat, come back here, put a movie on, and lay down and watch it with Ciara.
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Bring this to its knees
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